A sexually transmitted disease is often viewed as a reason for social alienation and destruction of relationships. And actually this is what happens most of the times. Herpes is one of the most common diseases which spread by sexual or physical contact. So, what should you do if you have herpes? Be open about it or keep mum?
What you have to realize here is that, keeping mum will perhaps lead to your partner contracting the disease from you. Rest assured, they will never forgive you for this. And what is the point in starting or carrying a relationship on the basis of concealment, which pretty much amounts to deceit?
Therefore you have to bite the bullet and tell your partner that you have herpes. Being honest is crucial here, whether or not your relationship survives this confession. Here are a few tips which should be of help:
1. Try to break this news before you have had any physical contact with your partner. This can save you a lot of problems and accusations if something goes wrong in the future. If you do this, you will be able to decide whether you have a future with the person in front of you.
In case you have a partner for some time, it is important to tell them as soon as you find that you have herpes, so that they can deliberate on a future with you.
2. This discussion should be started in a relaxed and private setting, but definitely not as you are about to have sex. Objective thought and throes of passion do not go well!
3. You make it clear to your partner that you are not in panic mode. Reassure them that whatever happens next is completely up to them. It is also a good idea to be well informed about the type of herpes you have and the risks attached to it, so that you are able to answer your partner’s queries confidently.
4. If your partner requests some time to think about the future and understand more about herpes, accept and provide them online and offline resources you may have access to.
5. If you obtain encouraging vibes from your partner, explain to them that having herpes does not bring down the curtain on sex life. You can still have safe sex by taking certain precautionary measures such as not having sex during outbreaks and using condoms at other times.
6. But of course, there is always a chance that you will spread the virus to your partner. In that case if your partner thinks, that the risks are too great, and decides to part ways with you, accept this graciously. Understand that they are not rejecting you, but rejecting the herpes, which they have every right to do.
There is life after herpes and so do not feel bad if an open confession ends your relationship. Maybe such a relationship was based more on physical needs than love. Moreover, if you are brutally honest you may also be surprised with the outcome at times!
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